Chanella Bella (chanchanbuns) wrote,
Chanella Bella
chanchanbuns

Death.

I'm depressed. Like really truly depressed. All day long I thought about this guy that I went to HS with...Josh Hopwood. I didn't know him, but I knew of him, and passed him in the halls a million times. We graduated the same year. He passed away today of leukemia. I heard he fought though. I heard he fought really hard. And that makes me happy, but its still just so sad. He was 20. I'm 20. I can't believe it.

I am glad he had found a donor though. If I found out he hadn't, I would be heartbroken. I was planning on going to the registration drive for him in March to donate bone marrow...which I still plan on doing. I had to work. It's too important not to. Especially with all these people with cancer all over the place. What's a little hip pain if you can save someone elses life. Seriously. Put some things into perspective. Even if it were more painful than that. Who cares. You can deal.

It was shipment day today, and I was talking to Rachelle about him and everything. And I thought about him all day while doing truck. (That's "restocking" in Big 5 terms) I kept praying that he'd get better or anything. Just that he wouldn't die. Then I get on myspace (the root of all evil) and read that he passed away this afternoon. It's breathtakingly heartbreaking. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach all the way down to my toes.

Another girl I went to high school with, she was three years older I think. Angelina Malfitano. I knew her sister when I was a sophomore, but we didn't talk much after that. Daniella wanted to be JUST LIKE Angelina. It was insane. Angelina was class president every year til forever, she was that type of kid. Good at everything she did. She got in a car accident on Hwy 12 last week and passed away. She lost control of her car. People say she fell asleep, but it was 9 am when she was driving...I don't know. It's weird.

It's crazy hearing about people that you knew, or knew of, dying. I can't imagine how it would feel to have to bury your kid. It's totally backwards. But on the other hand, I think there is a point, too, where a kid shouldn't have to bury their parent. I'm just confused by all of this, and I have no idea how to react...or if I'm allowed to react at all.
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